I often hear words like:
“You’re one of the most powerful chicas I know”
“You make bold look easy”
“If anyone could do it, it’d be you”
A mentor not too long ago said to me:
“Yea, that’s because you’re a powerful fucking woman and people know that”
My previous coach on a call also said:
“You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met”
It is SO true for as long I could remember which dates back to being a little girl I was my own leader, bossy, on a mission, didn’t ask for permission but charged things on my own, and it’s worked well up until... NOW!
I don’t want you to romanticize what I’m about to say...
Right now I am freaking lost. I am on my knees waiting to be rescued and I don’t mean by a man I mean by the Universe itself.
I’ve spent my whole life being strong and seeking to be “important” that I never knew how big my wound to be “important” actually was. The last couple of months I’ve been guided to a coffin and I’ve been asked to give up my need of importance.
Give up needing to be somebody.
I didn’t understand it at first because I’ve always prided myself on being my own person, my own damn drum beat, but Spirit has guided me elsewhere now, and so I’m unlearning how to be strong.
I’m allowing myself to feel my weakness, my vulnerabilities, my need for comfort, my need for good friends, my brave acknowledgement of how needy I am right now.
I’m vocalizing my fears, I’m allowing myself to be seen “not strong”, I’m not fearing being in no where land, I’m waiting for instructions without my typical tantrums, I’m falling in love with my softer me because she’s always been my stronger me in secret.
Spirit revealed to me, “where you’re going STRONG has a new face, new codes, an undefended body, an undefended argument, a new touch, new voice, it has a new definition, and the type of strong you’ve always relied on you don’t need anymore. You will guide others to this “new look” of strong and because of it they will heal.”
So here I am, in the process of becoming Nobody, No Name, No Face, No Where, at No time. And when I get there as I will surely get there—I’ll be sure to share the codes 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽